Anyone else tired of hearing this question? Mmhmm. How about this one, "How can you STILL be single?"
I truly believe in the deepest recesses of my heart of hearts that the asker sincerely thinks this is a flattering query. However, to the Single Ear it loosely translates to: "What is wrong with you??"
This is usually when I begin my well rehearsed 5 step routine:
1. Laugh
1A. Laugh and shake head
2. Say, "I don't have time for that!!"
3. Explain all the various activities taking up time in your busy schedule.
3A. Make everyday activities sound like extracurriculars.
Example: Conducting experimentation with vigorous oral regimens via the use of a fibril-like substance, made specifically for the purpose of excavating unwanted matter caught between hard, bony structures located in both the mandible and maxilla.
~OR~
Flossing
4. Change the subject.
Example: In other news, I hear your grandma ate an entire fleet of carrier pigeons.
5. Run.
But, what I hate the most is when the reply is, "Don't worry. You'll find someone soon."
Did I say I wanted a relationship? Am I that pitiful?? I don't understand why I have to be attached to another person to be deemed happy or acceptable.
Yes, I have days when I feel lonely.
Yes, I want to wear the pretty wedding dress I found on Pinterest someday.
Yes, I eventually want a houseful of chillens to boss around.
But, I also am enjoying my life right where it is right now! I love being able to make decisions that affect only me. I like being on this journey, not knowing what's up ahead, and being generally okay with that. I need the optional solitude being single allows.
THAT'S my life. It's hectic and crazy and wonderful. And I love it!
So, in this next week I'm going to celebrate my Singlehood.
I'm going to drink straight out of my milk carton. (Which I can do, because I have special lactose free milk my roommate doesn't use. And, also, I do what I want!!)
I'm going to take myself on a date.
I'm going to sit in Barnes and Noble for HOURS.
I'm going to plan my future, then throw it out and start again.
I'm going to love on my Singlehood.
Whoop!
Dere it is.
Example: In other news, I hear your grandma ate an entire fleet of carrier pigeons.
5. Run.
But, what I hate the most is when the reply is, "Don't worry. You'll find someone soon."
Did I say I wanted a relationship? Am I that pitiful?? I don't understand why I have to be attached to another person to be deemed happy or acceptable.
Yes, I have days when I feel lonely.
Yes, I want to wear the pretty wedding dress I found on Pinterest someday.
Yes, I eventually want a houseful of chillens to boss around.
But, I also am enjoying my life right where it is right now! I love being able to make decisions that affect only me. I like being on this journey, not knowing what's up ahead, and being generally okay with that. I need the optional solitude being single allows.
THAT'S my life. It's hectic and crazy and wonderful. And I love it!
So, in this next week I'm going to celebrate my Singlehood.
I'm going to drink straight out of my milk carton. (Which I can do, because I have special lactose free milk my roommate doesn't use. And, also, I do what I want!!)
I'm going to take myself on a date.
I'm going to sit in Barnes and Noble for HOURS.
I'm going to plan my future, then throw it out and start again.
I'm going to love on my Singlehood.
Whoop!
Dere it is.
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