Today, I feel like curling up into ball.
I feel like throwing blankets over my head and hiding from the world.
I feel like crying until I can't cry anymore.
Is life ever just "too much"?
Today, is a Too Much day.
Today, I keep thinking of what I have to do tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I see endless to-do lists and expectations for things I don't have to offer.
I need answers! I need to make decisions! I need to sell more tea at work!
I have so many things I need to get done, that I'm too overwhelmed to even start.
I had been doing pretty well. I had been pushing down the crazy. But, today, my body betrayed me. I got sick. Violently. At work.
Yeah. It wasn't pretty. And it was just one more thing to deal with. So, I went home. I called my mom, like any self-respecting adult. She didn't really seem to care that my little universe was imploding.
I said, "Mom! I got sick at work. And my car is broken-ish. And I don't know what everyone is making for Thanksgiving! And, I need to apply to colleges, but I don't even know where to begin! I don't know what I want to do with my life! I need another job! I can't pay my rent! I want to rip out my ovaries! It's Wednesday!"
She said, "I couldn't really understand you. I'm bringing fruit salad."
....alright. After saying goodbye, I flopped onto my bed and had a nice little dramatic cry into my pillow.
Honestly, I felt a little better, a lot sheepish, but a little better. As I was wiping the tears, and mascara, from my face, I looked at my wall. And had an a-ha! moment. On my wall, I have a canvas that has an inspirational quote on it. The first line says, "Today is the day."
Simple stuff. But it reminded me that today is all I can do. Breathe in. Breathe out.
I can do today.
Tomorrow will have to wait.