Messy Stressy

Over the past two weeks I have been super duper stressed and I didn't really know what to do. And it wasn't a situation in which I could just get rid of the stresser. I had to actually deal with them. Like an adult.

Which basically included a lot of crying and calling my mommy.

But through past anxiety attacks, freak outs, and, melt downs I have found some tools that help me get through.

1. Exercise. 

 Ew, right? But working helps me get rid of physical tension. And gets my blood going and the endorphins flowing. I noticed that if, at the end of my workout routine I just run as fast as I can for as long as I can, it pounds out the stress. In another life, I may have been a pretty aggressive person.

....

Moving on to 2. I don't add extra things on to my plate. 

This is a pretty universal thing, but I'm a project starter. For instance, when I need to focus on cleaning and organizing my room, I suddenly find something on Pinterest to make. And then I end with two unfinished ventures.

3. I get up 15 minutes earlier. 

...alright.

Weird, yes. Uncharacteristic, yes. Helpful? For me, yes. Because that gives me a little extra time to get associated with the day. When I'm stressed I become even more unorganized than I already am. So, I tend to forget more things. This extra 15 minutes gives me time to go through a mental checklist at my leisure.

4. I do as much as I can for myself the night before.

 I pick out clothes, make sure everything I need is in my purse, set out shoes, make my breakfast/set up my breakfast, etc. It's nice to have rather mindless activities before I go to bed, and these fit the bill. 

And finally, 5. When all else fails, I drop the sick beatz and have a dance party.

Usually, this includes a liberal amount of angsty rock tunes, power pop, and dose of hip hop. It's a potent blend.

This list of course is made of just a few things that have only been proven to help me. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm pretty sure I'm due for a All Time Low spaz dance party.

Ahhh!

It feels good to be back!

I decided to take an actual guilt free break from thrusting my emotions out to the world. 

Why would I do such a thing? Well, let me tell you! I was working 3 jobs and trying to get college stuffs in order and just didn't have the time, nor the mental capacity, nor the emotional strength to be bearing my soul to the interwebs. Not that many people read this...but still.

Anyway.

But I'm back and over the break, I was thinking, what do I REALLY want to talk about on my blog?

Because the reality is that it's mostly for my purposes and, like, two people read it. HOWEVER! I feel like I can do more than word vomit. I want to look back and see growth and helpful things. So, here we go.

This will henceforth be a blog about Singlehood, health (emotional, mental, physical), relationships, and my personal experiences and lessons learned from the aforementioned items. 

I'm not going to promise myself every week, because I know that won't probably happen. 

However I AM going to be intentional about writing and researching and experiencing. I promise. :D

Have a happy week!!

UGH!

I do this every. single. time. I start something and then life gets crazy and I just forget about everything worthwhile. Boo.

Anywho.

I'm sorry. So, if my count is correct, I owe the interwebs about 5 weeks worth of embarrassing pictures. Hm. That's going to take some time. 

Well. If I just take my camera with me when I leave the house tomorrow I should have sufficient media.

In other news, I'm working on some ideas for my life and this public journal stuff. It will probs be super epic. 

-ly terrible. But, that's where I'm at. If you don't like it, don't read it. Which is what all but two people in the world are doing . Not reading my blog, that is. 

Yes. More on Thursday. 

Kbye.

Drugs and such

I'm a druggie now. Yup. I take Trazodone. I'm a street hardened criminal. It's fine.

Jk. My doctor prescribed it to me. On the lowest dosage. 

Summation of the sleep aid: WONDERFUL. 

In other news, I'm about to start a new goal. You know those posters that are black and white and have inspirational sentences and challenges on them? Like, the Holstee Manifesto? Well, I have a couple of those and am currently trying to brainstorm some things to with them. Maybe do two of the goals each week.

Yeah, I don't know. I had this revelation on my 6 hour drive home.


This is kind of a cop out blog. But I did it. And that's what counts.

So, funny story....

There was a homicide in my apartment complex.

Yup. 

So, that's neat.

Basically, this guy killed this other because the guy was going to tell on the other guy... Alright. Let's just call them Mr. A (aka Street Hardened Killer) and Mr. B (aka Dead Guy).

At approximately 8:30pm on Monday, Mr. B was getting ready for bed because he had a big day on Tuesday. He was going to testify in court against Mr. A. Mr. A tracked him down, popped a cap in him, and left the scene. 

What was Mr. B testifying about? I'm glad you asked! He was going to testify against Mr. A because Mr. A had apparently shot him last year as well. Unfortunately, the streets hold no mercy, and Mr. B, may he rest in peace, will be testifying in a higher court. Or a lower court, as the case may be. Well, possibly both. Because, he'd have to go to the pearly gates first, right? And then be sent down? 

Hm.

Well, clearly I need to work on my theology. But the fact remains, a man is dead. And, a killer is on the loose.

And that's why this entry is a bit late. Because I have anxiety. Like, panic attack anxiety. And it's going crazy this week!

The office people at the complex were all like, "It was just a targeted shooting. It was an isolated event. There's absolutely nothing for you to worry about."

Mm. Right. But, except, bullets. And DEATH. But other than that. Yeah. Totes fine.

My roommate and I also recently found out we live next to THE biggest drug operation in the county. 

And this is why I can't make friends with my neighbors. 

As a side note, I realize that I have broken the promise and thus am required to submit a humiliating picture of me. However, I think that due to extenuating circumstances, I should be let off the hook, provided that I extend the promise an extra week.

Fair-ish?

Stay alive!

Korean Dramedies

I have found a sure fire way to NOT make friends. Here are the steps.

1.Search Korean Dramas on Netflix
2. Proceed to watch and be sucked into one.
3. Look at the handy dandy suggestions Netflix provides.
4. Watch another.
5. And another...
6. And another, until you never leave your room.

I don't know how this happened to me, but I have an addiction! Maybe it's because I finally, finally, FINALLY decided on a ESL major. Or maybe it's the massive amounts of assorted Asian cuisine I have been partaking in.  

I don't know. 

What I DO know is that I've burned through 6 series in the past two weeks. It's unhealthy. Outside of work, I haven't had real human contact. 

This. Is. A problem.

So, today I have decided that for the next week (starting on Sunday) I will not watch a Korean show, or may my eyes turn to jello. 

Fighting!

A-HA!!

Didn't think I was gonna get one in this week, huh?

Psh.

Heeeeeere's the thing:

I. Have friends.

Like real ones. That come over to my apartment. That I text. Who text me. Who I go shopping with.

 FRIENDS.

Yeah. It's kind of a big deal. 

Because, making acquaintances is easy. I talk to the same people everyday at the mall. Sometimes we even grab lunch together in the food court! But, it's really hard to make the jump between acquaintances and legitimate friends. And, as I've realized, there's not really a set of rules. Which I hate.

I like structure. 

I like direction. 

But there are none when you're trying to make friends!!! It's cutthroat! And nerve wracking. Asking someone to come over to your apartment is terrifying. Especially, if you work with them. Because, if they refuse, every single day after that is awkward. Well, I make it awkward. 

But still. 

Awkward. 

Yet, somehow this wonderful thing has happened. And there are people at my ghetto apartment. Right now.

....which means I should go. And talk with them. Because they are my friends.

Wheeeeew.

It's been a big week.

Peace out!

Sorries/resolutions/stuffs

Wow. 

It has been a while since I last blogged. And, there is a very good, proven reason as to why I haven't:

I suck with the whole "follow through" thing. 

It's something I've struggled with since I was a young'un. I'd pick something up, and I'd really enjoy it while it was new and exciting. But, when it started to take more work to see improvement, I slacked off. It wasn't that I didn't want to be good at anything. I would just rather not have to put in the work. In America, we like to call that the "Microwave Mentality", but it literally translates as, "lazy". 

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HOWEVER! I'm back! Not that many people read my blog... but for those who do, I'll try to be more regular. ActiviAAA!!

Anywho.

Yeah, so, happy New Year! How are your resolutions going? 

Hm? Mine? I haven't made them yet. 

And, I'm not sure that I will make them. Mostly because I forgot. But, also, but only slightly, but still, because of my failure to follow through.

When you/I think about it, I realize that my problem is still unsolved. I'm still a mess in dress. And tights. And cute shoes. But a mess. A mess who is going in ten thousand directions and not really giving any of those directions real attention.

So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to promise to blog once a week, every week for the next three months. 

Why three months? Because I like the number three. I like trilogies. I like three meals a day. And, that's where my 3 obsession stops. But three is like the ultimate attainable number. 


Now, if I break this promise, I have to do something embarrassing in public, take a picture of it, and post it here. 

Aight?
Aight.